📝 My Stoic Journal Week 4: Take Another’s Perspective—Nobody Wants to Do Wrong on Purpose

Sun, 02 Feb 2025 12:11:32 +0700

Last week, I have practiced taking an outside view of my own struggles, as guided by “A Handbook for New Stoics.” This week, the practice shifts its focus to taking an inside view of other people’s actions. By doing so, we aim to gain perspective, cultivate compassion and understanding within ourselves—recognizing why people’s actions may appear reasonable to them.

A fundamental principle of stoicism is that no one intentionally intends to do wrong, and everyone believes their actions are justified, and have valid reasons for their actions. Thus, we must choose to be charitable and open-minded instead of harboring anger. The aim is to reduce frustration with life’s interactions, focusing instead on improving our actions and judgments.

It’s often easy to justify our feelings and actions while dismissing those of others, fueled by the belief that we are right and others are wrong. This sense of righteousness usually leads us to retaliate, assuming we are punishing them for poor behavior and flawed character. Yet, we fail to recognize that they might view their actions as justified by their circumstances, just as we do with our own.>

This bias is known as the Fundamental Attribution Error. We tend to attribute others' actions to their character while explaining our own by circumstances. We mistake our perceptions as objective truths and overlook the different perspectives held by our fellow humans. This error in judgment underscores the inconsistency in how we judge others versus ourselves.

To address this bias, we must understand what drives someone’s actions. By examining their values, we can interpret their behavior even if we disagree with it. Reflecting on whether we share these values can lead to empathy or self-reflection. We should question ourselves on whether similar values or flaws exist within us before judging others for their mistakes. If we don’t share the same values, and are reasonably certain of our judgment’s accuracy, we can sympathise with their misguided actions.

Adopting another person’s perspective fosters compassion by encouraging us to recognize common traits and understanding, thereby reducing our emotional attachment to particular perspectives. We are encouraged to provide a fair opportunity for others, even if we don’t necessarily agree, by compassionately listening to their perspective.

The Exercise

For this week’s exercise, at the end of each day, we’re asked to reflect on someone we encountered who either frustrated us or whom we perceived to have wronged us. If we didn’t encounter anyone who particularly frustrated us that day, we should consider someone from our past who we believe wronged us. Take some time each day to ponder the following prompts:

Identify the person, their actions, and the reasons behind your feelings of wrongdoing. Also, reflect on your feelings towards this person.
Consider the reasons behind their actions. Think about the values they might hold that explain their behavior. These values are often related to external factors beyond their complete control.3. Reflect on whether you or did you ever hold any of these values.

If yes, write about a time when you acted on them and potentially frustrated or wronged someone else.
If no, identify the internal character traits you value. List them and explain how you could use these traits to reduce your frustration with this person.

Take a moment to express your current feelings about this person after completing the exercise.

My Entries

The concept of imagining another person who wronged you and attempting to understand their perspective is similar to the practice outlined in the 6 Phase Meditation book by Vishen Lakhiani. While the book doesn’t provide as much detail on this practice, it adopts a similar approach. I recommend this book if you’re seeking simple guided meditation practice. You can also listen to the guided meditation on YouTube.

Regarding my entries for this week’s exercise, I’ve been hesitant to share them because these entries are quite personal.

Nonetheless, I believe this approach has helped me become less prone to anger or frustration when encountering others’ actions. I think it’s crucial to consider perspectives beyond our own. Ultimately, we’re all just humans trying our best to navigate this world. Sometimes we’re on the right track, and sometimes we’re not. Cultivating sympathy is essential, not only for ourselves but also for others who are on the same journey of living.

Sat, 30 Jul 2022 07:52:15 +0700

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”

—Marcus Aurelius 💬

Fri, 15 Jul 2022 19:27:10 +0700

How to Be Perfect by Michael Schur 📚

💬four simple questions that we can ask ourselves whenever we encounter any ethical dilemma, great or small:

What are we doing?

Why are we doing it?

Is there something we could do that’s better?

Why is it better?

Sun, 03 Jul 2022 17:37:54 +0700

Courage Is Calling: Fortune Favors the Brave by Ryan Holiday 📚

💬 Courage is the management of and the triumph over fear. It’s the decision—in a moment of peril, or day in and day out—to take ownership, to assert agency, over a situation, over yourself, over the fate that everyone else has resigned themselves to.

Sat, 25 Jun 2022 21:38:17 +0700

Currently reading: 🏛 How to Be a Stoic by Massimo Pigliucci 📚Let’s start another stoic journey!

Philosophy on NingNarrative

📝 My Stoic Journal Week 4: Take Another’s Perspective—Nobody Wants to Do Wrong on Purpose

The Exercise

My Entries