When people think about being bilingual, they often assume it involves
simply translating between two languages.
Nope.
Being bilingual is about adopting a new mode of communication,
adding a whole new dimension to the relationship between yourself and
the world.
Each language embodies unique natures and
cultures, allowing you to consume diverse content and understand the
world in a different light. Through this, you craft a new persona for
yourself.
Of course, your domains of knowledge overlap from
time to time. I mean, you’re still one person after all. You may
integrate aspects of both languages into your life, but you can never
completely replace them with one another.
Well, if you think
about it. Adopting a new language can feel like assuming a new
identity for a spy mission you see in a movie. It involves
inventing a new backstory and fully immersing yourself in it while
striving to keep your original identity intact. It’s almost as if two
versions of yourself from another universe somehow coexist.
The reality is far more complex than swapping between identities,
though. Since you do not have a double life you can switch all the
context of who you are altogether. You have to somehow blend
these two versions of yourself into one cohesive whole.
---
In my case, Thai is my native
language, and English is my second language. Depending on the topic, I
can switch between languages or use them interchangeably and
simultaneously. For some topics I prefer to use Thai; for others, I
prefer English.
In general, though, my Thai persona is like a
boring old man, while my English persona is like an enthusiastic geek.
(My Spanish persona would likely be an even more expressive self if I
continued studying the language, but I decided I didn’t have time to
develop another identity!)
I find that I express abstract
concepts better in Thai, while English gives me a wider vocabulary for
emotions and feelings. So, I often have inner monologues in English,
even though I speak Thai in daily interactions. (You might wonder why I
don’t exclusively speak English. I reside in Thailand, where English
conversations are primarily reserved for online interactions and
assisting tourists with directions. Moreover, my English-speaking skills
are terrible! LOL. )
Switching between languages can be
challenging, especially when your inner voice speaks a different
language. As a result, I typically default to my boring persona in most
interactions.
Being bilingual is a constant negotiation of
how badly I can embody each persona (lol). At times, I articulate myself
eloquently in Thai, while other times I get choked up in my native
tongue. I may have profound thoughts in English, only to struggle with
basic grammar at other times.
So, to expand the same analogy,
I sometimes feel like an inept spy in my own life, grappling
with a new identity while also faltering in my original one.
What a confusing combination!!
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But despite the complexities, embracing a double identity
as a bilingual opens up new possibilities and enriches your
existence in ways you couldn’t have imagined. It allows you to
grasp nuances you never thought possible and engage in
conversations with people and yourself in more dynamic
relationships.
When you’re bilingual, your horizon expands, while your inner self also deepens.
---
So, even though there are times when I feel
frustrated with my shortcomings as a bilingual, I wouldn’t trade it for
anything (maybe a polyglot? LOL).
Why settle for less when
your life experiences are doubled twofold, or even more, right?
:)