The song "Oblivion" by Bastille has always held a special place in my heart since its release.
When you fall asleep with your head upon my shoulder
When you're in my arms but you've gone somewhere deeper
Are you going to age with grace?
Are you going to age without mistakes?
Are you going to age with grace?
Or only to wake and hide your face?
When oblivion is calling out your name
You always take it further than I ever can
When you play it hard and I try to follow you there
It's not about control, but I turn back when I see where you go
Are you going to age with grace?
Are you going to leave a path to trace?
When oblivion is calling out your name
You always take it further than I ever can
When oblivion is calling out your name
You always take it further than I ever can
When the song was first released, I was just a teenager who wasn't
proficient in English, as it wasn't my native language.
Initially, I was captivated by its haunting melody and emotional depth. Still, it wasn't until I recently witnessed my grandma’s battle for her life that I grasped its lyrics' profound meaning.
Watching my grandma's memories fade in and out due to dementia, and seeing her ability to speak slowly deteriorate all at once, I finally understood that the song is not about a romantic relationship coming to an end, but about the profound pain of watching someone fade away before your eyes.
The song is not just about someone leaving; it's also about the inability to help that person. You thought that person was not only going down the wrong path but that they were going to leave this world if they kept going like this.
Viewing the song through the lens of dementia added layers of complexity and emotion to it. You're sensing the dread from knowing they are going to forget everything from our shared world, a world filled with memories of us.
You try so hard to make them remember, but they only slip away further.
You hope to see them live with some grace, even though you know their deterioration is inevitable.
You try to pull them back into the present moment, but they are on the other side of oblivion, a place where you cannot reach no matter how hard you try to keep up.
The haunting lyrics of the song encapsulate the desperation to hold onto memories, to keep a connection alive, and the crushing realization that some things are beyond our control.
The song took on a different and deeper meaning when viewed this way. And I couldn't help but be in tears.